Look at you out on a big trip...

I just got home from Las Vegas, New Mexico. What a great week visiting my sister and her family! As always, there is never enough time to spend with just me and my sister. She makes me laugh.

Speaking of laughing! My niece, Kaitlyn, makes me laugh the most, the loudest and the hardest! She is seriously my soul mate and mini-me! We might be twins separated at birth...and born in the wrong decades! She is such a little social bug, and she's not really afraid to try anything. That might be where we differ!

It was really a great, relaxing week. We hung out and played cards, hiked, shopped, and Sean and I got to cook dinner for the campers! Oh, and I went down the zip line on the ropes course..and played two pretty intense games of paint ball. Let's just say I have found a new love of shooting guns!

It was a whole family party! My parents, my cousin Vanessa, Sean, Devon and myself all went! Katie, Vanessa, mom and I all got airbrush tattoos. Mom, dad, Devon, Sean and I hiked up Hermit's Peak. I'm still sore from that 6 hour hike!! I did quite a nice tan from being in the sun so much. Too bad it's in the shape of my tank tops and not my swimsuit. Womp womp.

It was a much needed vacation. It was too short! I love the mountains! I love the cool air. I loved sleeping with the windows open. I loved eating fruit every day. I loved having gluten free food to eat. I loved playing cards. I loved having my sister nearby. I loved the views! I loved not dealing with humidity!

And today...now, I'm enjoying a pedicure and manicure to end the week with a real bang. My skin is so dry from being in high altitude.

It was a great week. I look forward to when my sister comes in December for Christmas!
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Just Grand

I'm sitting on the bank watching my family fish. I love being home. I love Grand Lake. I love spending time with my family.

In other news, I rediscovered my love for taking pictures outdoors. I was finally able to get my camera charged up and working again.

Taking pictures is something that recharges me. I don't have an impressive camera, but I love looking for cool angles and different colors.

What a good, good day!
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get well soon

I have a box of puffs tissue by my bed. I haven't been sick in a couple of years. Then we got a new dog a couple of weeks ago. I can't stop playing with her or holding her. Every time I do, I start sneezing. And whatever is blowing around outside is not helping either! So, now I'm fighting some kind of sinus/allergy cold. So dumb.

I haven't talked much about it but I was diagnosed with Celiac disease in March. It has been rough adjusting and understanding all of it. I'm allergic to gluten. I get very sick when I eat any food with gluten in it. I didn't have any gluten for about 3 weeks, and I felt great! So. It's tough finding food and sticking to a gluten-free diet. I have another lab appointment coming up in a couple of weeks. The Doc is going to check my blood level again and see if I'm doing better. And it might be kinda hard to get an accurate reading...mainly because I've kinda been eating stuff I shouldn't. Ugh.

And now I am going to rest. Rest is good for when you don't feel good.

Joplin

It's been very shocking and emotional to hear and see all that has gone in Joplin over the last week. I know it touches so many...of course, the ones that are current residents; but also, the many who have passed through town because of college.

It's been over 10 years since I lived in Joplin attending Ozark Christian College. My 5 years in that town was a very meaningful time. I made so many dear friends and had many great experiences. It's not my home, but that town is dear to me.

I've seen so many that I went to OCC with on facebook...praying, processing, sharing, serving. I wish I could go and help as well. My husband went for 2 days last week. He worked right by St. John's to search for 3 bodies. One was found.

It will take time to rebuild. Joplin may never be what it was. But it will be better and stronger. I pray that the many people directly affected by the tornado will be healed and stronger.

doh!

Ever have one of those moments where you are caught off guard? I'm not talking about someone saying something funny and you shoot milk out of your nose. I'm talking about one of those moments where your whole life's purpose is questioned and you feel about a foot tall. Maybe you haven't.

But I did. It really wasn't so bad. But, I was caught completely off guard by one of my clients.

Jane* (names have been changed) is teenage client I see once a week. I've been seeing her for a few months. Wednesday was my last session with her. We talked about some closure type things, and I encouraged her with things we had worked on. I decided our last session called for ice cream. Any chance I get to have ice cream or Sonic happy hour...you know I take it!

As Jane and I got in my car, she noticed my work badge hanging from my rearview mirror. She grabbed it and read out loud, "Tonya Moore...Counselor. You used to be a counselor? When did you do that?"

Pause.

I have been "counseling" Jane for the past 5 months. We talk about issues. We develop skills for her to use.

I stopped breathing when Jane asked me that. I was caught in between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry.

Those types of moments really make you do some serious self-examination. Have I really helped Jane? Have I failed? Did I model poor boundaries to where Jane didn't realize we were doing counseling? What did Jane think I was doing with her every Monday? Why did Jane think I was coming to visit her?

After a mini-meltdown, I started breathing again.

Unpause.

I said to Jane, "Well, I'm still a counselor. Isn't that a crazy picture?!" I had to divert the conversation so I wasn't tempted to cry again!

I still haven't come up with any answers. But maybe my style, technique and method of in-home counseling is just what I want it to be. Disguisable yet challenging and effective. Getting to know my clients and earning their trust to challenge them to change and face fears...all under the disguise of scrapbooking, playing cards, taking walks, painting, etc.

Yep. At the end of a long day, that's what I like to tell myself. I'm doing my job so effectively that my clients can't tell I've "counseled" them.

Don't judge my boundaries. Or my self-confidence.

I'm just using my gifts. And I'm in awe of how God is working through me.

total recall

well…or something like it. but most likely not. so much has happened in the last couple of months, I don’t even know where to begin. but I will say that I am typing on my new laptop. oh yeah!

I've been giving advice to my daughter lately. Pretty good advice, I'd say. The only thing is that I really need to listen to it myself. Boo.

These words came out of mouth today to her: "Sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and accept help." Ouch.

Soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I was talking to myself. Geez. Of course, I've been knowing that for several months. I just didn't want to do it. People tell me I'm stubborn. Um. No, I'm not. Well. Maybe a little.

She had a bad day. I just pulled her in my lap...even 19 year olds need cuddled by their mommas...and held her. Kinda made me wish someone would do that for me! I've been having a bad few months. Sometimes my bad days are no one's fault. Sometimes my bad days are a result of my own neglect to change my attitude...because of choices I made the day before...and other reasons.

But I think it's time I swallowed my pride and accepted help. I'm glad my daughter taught me something today. Or maybe I just wasn't as stubborn today.
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