So, my work did a ropes course today. For some odd reason, I could not pass on the chance to be outdoors...doing something adventurous...and getting paid to do it. Who else could pass that up? Seriously?
Well. Obviously I have forgotten a few things. I forgot that I am 33 years old. I forgot that I haven't exercised in who knows how long. I forgot that I am overweight. I forgot that I can't push myself past my own fears. So, knowing that I forgot all these very important things...I went to the ropes course!
I went ahead and harnessed up with everyone else. I soon realized I probably wouldn't get a turn at the elements with so many kids there. I began to feel a bit relieved. But ever the prideful one, I made sure all the kids were getting a turn. I was there for the kids, right? The kids are the most important thing, right?
I took a girl with me who is afraid...not more afraid than yours truly though. She put on her brave face and climbed up the pole to the zip line. Without any encouragement from me. Then when she got to the top, she was too afraid to come down on the zip line. I began talking to her and encouraging her from the ground. My efforts weren't working.
I quickly realized I would have to climb up the stupid pole and go down with her! My gut immediately began the roller coaster ride of emotions! I knew the girl would be upset with herself if she didn't finish the element. So, I connect to the belay and start climbing up the pole. Much to my great surprise, I made it up the pole...only faintly out of breath.
Then I freaked out. Internally. I was up on the platform. This girl was not going down the zip line without me doing it with her. I was in the same predicament she was! Isn't it ironic, don't ya think? Thank you, Alanis.
So, the girl said she would go if I went first. Here comes my co-worker, Mike. Holy fire. That's all I needed. A co-worker to witness how much of a chicken I really am. Then the facilitator says, "On the count of 3, walk off the platform." I refrain from peeing my pants as well as fight the urge to puke. I look over at the girl and realize this is no time for me to be scared. I have to go and show her I can do it...so she can do it. I try to remember to breathe. I look at Mike and say, "Mike, I gotta sit down and go. I can't walk off the platform!" I look at the facilitator and say, "Dude, you gotta loosen my belay so I can sit down."
Mike says in an ever so quiet voice, "Tonya, I think you need to challenge yourself and not sit down." Right at that moment...in my mind...I slapped the fire out of him. But I knew he was right. So, the facilitator counted to 3...
And Mike and I walked off the platform. I screamed. Then in a split second, I realized what I did! It was awesome. I looked back and saw the girl still standing on the platform. I had to feel bad for her and proud of myself all at the same time. I flipped upside down and finished the zip line!
You can only do so much for people. I can't do things for people. They can only do for themselves. I can encourage and help. I felt so bad for this girl who was mad at herself later for not finishing the element. I couldn't do anything about her feelings. I can help her work through them so she can challenge herself next time she is in a situation to face her fears. But I can't do it for her. She has to do it. I might have climbed back down the pole had Mike not been up there with me! And besides, I took my sons with me. They aren't scared of anything. So, I had to prove to them that 'ol mom is pretty adventurous. Oh crap. Who am I kidding?! Devon's reaction said it all after I told him I did the element and went upside down...he said, "You did?!" But maybe it earned me some cool points.
I learned something today. I learned the ropes.
Well. Obviously I have forgotten a few things. I forgot that I am 33 years old. I forgot that I haven't exercised in who knows how long. I forgot that I am overweight. I forgot that I can't push myself past my own fears. So, knowing that I forgot all these very important things...I went to the ropes course!
I went ahead and harnessed up with everyone else. I soon realized I probably wouldn't get a turn at the elements with so many kids there. I began to feel a bit relieved. But ever the prideful one, I made sure all the kids were getting a turn. I was there for the kids, right? The kids are the most important thing, right?
I took a girl with me who is afraid...not more afraid than yours truly though. She put on her brave face and climbed up the pole to the zip line. Without any encouragement from me. Then when she got to the top, she was too afraid to come down on the zip line. I began talking to her and encouraging her from the ground. My efforts weren't working.
I quickly realized I would have to climb up the stupid pole and go down with her! My gut immediately began the roller coaster ride of emotions! I knew the girl would be upset with herself if she didn't finish the element. So, I connect to the belay and start climbing up the pole. Much to my great surprise, I made it up the pole...only faintly out of breath.
Then I freaked out. Internally. I was up on the platform. This girl was not going down the zip line without me doing it with her. I was in the same predicament she was! Isn't it ironic, don't ya think? Thank you, Alanis.
So, the girl said she would go if I went first. Here comes my co-worker, Mike. Holy fire. That's all I needed. A co-worker to witness how much of a chicken I really am. Then the facilitator says, "On the count of 3, walk off the platform." I refrain from peeing my pants as well as fight the urge to puke. I look over at the girl and realize this is no time for me to be scared. I have to go and show her I can do it...so she can do it. I try to remember to breathe. I look at Mike and say, "Mike, I gotta sit down and go. I can't walk off the platform!" I look at the facilitator and say, "Dude, you gotta loosen my belay so I can sit down."
Mike says in an ever so quiet voice, "Tonya, I think you need to challenge yourself and not sit down." Right at that moment...in my mind...I slapped the fire out of him. But I knew he was right. So, the facilitator counted to 3...
And Mike and I walked off the platform. I screamed. Then in a split second, I realized what I did! It was awesome. I looked back and saw the girl still standing on the platform. I had to feel bad for her and proud of myself all at the same time. I flipped upside down and finished the zip line!
You can only do so much for people. I can't do things for people. They can only do for themselves. I can encourage and help. I felt so bad for this girl who was mad at herself later for not finishing the element. I couldn't do anything about her feelings. I can help her work through them so she can challenge herself next time she is in a situation to face her fears. But I can't do it for her. She has to do it. I might have climbed back down the pole had Mike not been up there with me! And besides, I took my sons with me. They aren't scared of anything. So, I had to prove to them that 'ol mom is pretty adventurous. Oh crap. Who am I kidding?! Devon's reaction said it all after I told him I did the element and went upside down...he said, "You did?!" But maybe it earned me some cool points.
I learned something today. I learned the ropes.
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