It's Father's Day weekend. Many mixed emotions. We won't be able to celebrate with my father-in-law this time. That is very bittersweet. It's comforting to know that Rusty is fully healed and in Heaven. But I still miss him. Our whole family misses him very much. Rusty was so, so sweet.
My parents came up to spend the day with us for Father's Day. My dad took us to Big Splash! How funny is it that my dad treated us on what was supposed to be his day. That's just the kind of guy my dad is. He's awesome! I had a lot of fun today with my parents and Sean and my boys. Swimming. Laughing. We couldn't leave the park without dad and Sean making me go down the Silver Bullet. The only other time I went down that slide was when dad made me...when I was in high school! I got to the top and told myself not to look down. Just sit down and go! But how can you not look down?! Of course I looked down! And I got scared and almost didn't go. But. I did. And it was fun. I screamed the whole way down of course. Mom said she heard me as she was waiting in line at the other water slides. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to overcome her fear. Right? And the most satisfying thing is getting off the slide putting my swimsuit back where it goes in all the appropriate places...knowing I just went down the Silver Bullet...and all the people watching didn't! I did it!
This picture is of Dad and Zach. We were hanging out on the porch just talking. Zach was entertaining us. My dad loves people, loves kids, loves helping all of them.
Tomorrow is a sad day. Tomorrow will be one year that Meghan died. I remember the phone call. It was a Saturday morning. It was early for a Saturday. About 7am or so. Sean and I were sleeping in. My phone rang, and just before I missed the call I saw it was dad. Almost annoyed that my dad would call that early on a Saturday, I decided to wait and call him back later. Then Sean's phone rang. He saw it was my dad, so he answered. Sean got out of bed immediately. I heard the sound of shock in his voice. It's sad that I know what the inflection in someone's voice means. My mom's side of the family has certainly not been unfamiliar with death. Death is a natural part of life, but it seems much more natural for my mom's side of the family. Certainly in a spiritual sense, these deaths have me asking a lot of questions. We've lost someone from each generation.
This is dad giving Meghan away at her wedding. July 25, 2008.
I have to remember her. Meghan was so funny, and I always laughed with her. She could be so sassy yet she was so caring. It's hard to know what to say about her. Or maybe it's harder to identify how I feel about her being gone. I miss her so much. She was my cousin by blood, but she was my sister in our hearts. Gone before her 22nd birthday. Gone before her 1 year wedding anniversary. It doesn't seem fair. And I'm reminded that who am I to decide what is fair. Meghan's days were pre-ordained by God before she was even conceived. I miss her. And I wonder what happened that night. Why and how she and her husband lost control of the truck. It's so hard to believe she is really gone. Her funeral was closed casket. No real closure and seeing her one last time to say good-bye. I miss her. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. much.
This is me, Meg, and Terri. Meghan's wedding day. Terri and I had a blast helping Meg plan her special day.
Well, it's all coming back to me now. I forgot that I want to make the most of my time with family. Enjoy my family. Enjoy my time with them while I'm with them.
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