normal

My new job keeps throwing new challenges at me. I'm fine with that. As long as I can handle them I guess. So far so good. Yesterday I met some clients for the first time. These meetings were supposed to be brief introductions. One of the therapists I'm working with warned me before going in the home that this woman is very paranoid and closed off. He said she probably wouldn't talk to me, but she did want to meet me because she is very interested in the rehab services I will be doing for the agency. So, we knocked on the door and went in.

Almost an hour and a half later, I walked out in much surprise. Too many emotions and thoughts going through me to even try and process. I've really tried not to put too many expectations or pictures in my head because I just don't know what people will be like. The lady totally opened up with me and shared a great deal about her life and struggles. Rape by family members. Molested by family members. Paranoia. Obesity. Mental health issues. Physical health issues. Her daughter hears voices and has sadly experienced some of the same trauma. And the woman broke. She sobbed.

I desperately wanted to cry with her and for her. In the midst of all her sadness, she dried her tears and started talking about all the things she's overcome. My heart broke as she started crying again and said, "I just want a normal life." I get tears in my eyes now replaying the conversation. Everyone wants a normal life. But I heard what she meant...she knows the things that have happened to her are not normal. She wants to be recovered. She wants freedom from the things that torment her. She wants something different and better than what she is forced to deal with. I'm just amazed by her strength and determination.

I struggled sitting there watching and listening. Doesn't God offer hope in these situations? Doesn't God offer healing? Doesn't He offer peace? But I could not minister those things to this woman. And I realized part of me was getting angry. Angry because my job won't let me talk about God. Angry because of what has happened to this woman. Angry that she doesn't feel safe. Angry. The therapist warned me. He warned me about several things: having a plan to de-stress after a day of work and not carrying these clients around with me. But how?

So, a couple of funny things happened though. The first was that I told one mother that I did hate kids. I'm sure that comforted her greatly since I was there to work with her son. That was a winning moment. The other was when I freaked out when a mouse ran across the floor in one home. I did keep my composure in front of the family.

And now for the Moment of the Day. The client is 8 years old.
Therapist: So, how's the client's pet lizard?
Mom of client: Oh, fine. Before client left, client left strict instructions with little brother on how to take care of lizard. Lizard is good. Just ate. Had to buy crickets for it to eat. Can you believe this container of crickets cost $5?
Therapist: Well, why don't you just feed him the roaches that crawl around your house?
Me: (telling myself repeatedly that this is normal)
Mom of client: Yeah, I know. Then I wouldn't have to buy crickets. Save me some money. But my son said he doesn't want to feed the lizard the roaches because they have been in the poison traps. If the lizard eats the roaches, he might get poisioned and die.
Therapist: Yeah, there you go.
Me: Wow. That makes sense.

And it did.

fa, fa, fa, friday

It's Friday. I'm home alone. The house is quiet. Just me and the dog. I don't mind it all. The kids are off playing sports in Missouri. Wish I was there watching them. The husband is off in some half-n-half town, Talucogee...what? He's leading worship for a work event. Why do people make up names of towns that are half of one town and half of another? Tahlequah +Muskogee = Tahlekogee. What? Texas + Oklahoma = Texhoma. What? Arkansas + Oklahoma = Arkoma. What? Seriously.

I've been seriously aching to buy more MAC makeup. So, I like makeup. So. They have such neat stuff out right now. I'm missing out!

So, in much bigger, more grown up news, my work passed its accreditation survey this week. Easiest process the boss has ever been through he says. It's been an interesting couple of weeks at work I'd say. But the stressful, nerve-wracking event is over. Now on to more stressful things! Next, I will be introduced to clients. Real live people who are counting on me to help them and teach them. Crap! That's a lot of pressure! Luckily, I work with two great therapists. They really are great. In other news, during this crazy time, I managed to amaze my boss. So, I think my job is secure for a few more weeks. Ahem.

With that peace of mind, I'm going back to sewing on the t-shirt quilt I'm making.

life

I'm intrigued. My pastor asked our leadership team at church to start journaling. We're going to journal together at our leadership meetings. I think it's pretty cool. Sean and I even started doing it with our kids. It's amazing! Seriously! We follow a pattern called S.O.A.P. when we journal. S stands for scripture. O stands for observation. A stands for application. P stands for prayer. It's amazing to me what you can get out of the scriptures! The words and verses just come alive and God speaks in the most fascinating ways! Even our kids realized it when we showed them how to do the journaling. Anyway. I'm doing it on my own too.

Also, the last two weeks have just been draining. Good stuff is happening, but it's just a lot to handle emotionally. We've had some great talks with our kids. Talking about all kinds of things. Relationships, mostly. Moving stuff. Seriously. Also, work has just been stressful. We're right in the middle of our survey/interviews/accreditation meetings. I was seriously worried about several things. God just worked everything out for me. I didn't have to do anything I was originally told I would have to do. That's a good thing. Basically, I would have had to lie about some things. Now that this busy time is over, I'm probably still just getting ready for another busy time! I'm going to begin meeting clients soon. There are so many clients! I don't know how I will be able to see them all each week. Well, I'll deal with that later. For tomorrow, I just need to get through the accreditation and survey. So far, so good.

I'm looking forward to some down time this weekend hopefully. I'd like to get some more sewing done on my t-shirt quilt. I'll have to post pictures soon. It's turning out pretty cool I think! I'm making it completely from scratch...no pattern! I like the challenge.

Until next time...

boom boom pow

I almost forgot I had a blog! What's up with that? Wow. I don't know what God is doing. He provides a great job opportunity which I took. I have almost been working a month now. Since starting my new job, I have had 3 other job offers! What's up with that? One of the offers is something I was really wanting. Now I don't know if I want it or not. Kind of confusing. This timeline of occurring events.

So. Last weekend my daughter and I dyed our hair. My first time to dye my hair ever. Of course it was my 17 year old daughter's first time. I don't know what I was thinking. We had fun. You can't even really tell mine is dyed. Holly's looked so pretty, but it is already fading. We didn't know we should have used 2 bottles of dye for long hair until after we did it. So, now we know for next time.

Our new church is moving and going forward. We have our first service tonight in our newly rented building. Pretty cool stuff. Sean has been gone every night this week helping with the sound and media stuff. He comes home to sleep basically. After tonight, things will hopefully be back to normal. I can't wait to hang out with him tomorrow. I miss him.

In other news, my oldest son has been diagnosed with swine flu. He didn't feel well Monday night. Tuesday morning Sean took him to the Dr. The Dr. diagnosed with swine and prescribed Tamiflu. We got the meds in him Tuesday night. Devon hasn't had a fever since Wednesday evening. I don't know.... Did we catch they symptoms quick enough? Did he really have the swine flu? Tuesday and most of Wednesday he just slept. Since Wednesday evening though, he's been acting fine. We haven't been taking any precautions though. Sean and I quarantined Devon to his room. We only let him out to use the bathroom. No one else can use the bathroom that Devon is using. I'm wearing a mask every time I go into his room. Washing my hands and disinfecting light switches and doorknobs constantly. Changing my clothes that I wear in his room. Devon is soooo bored that he is getting mad now. I feel bad for him, but I don't want to take any chances on getting anyone else sick.

I'll be glad when we get our computer back. Aaron accidentally downloaded a virus while trying to do some research for school. A friend of ours is fixing it. It's been gone over a week! He is letting us borrow a laptop. But I want my computer! This laptop is kind of slow.

I'll post more about work this week. I should have some interesting stories, I think.