jumbled up

So, I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind. Thoughts about family. Thoughts about work. Thoughts about church. Thoughts about Christianity. Thoughts about marriage. Thoughts about the future. Thoughts about friends and so-called friends. Thoughts about exercise. Thoughts about growing. Thoughts about learning. Thoughts about thankfulness. Thoughts about forgiveness. Thoughts about boldness. See? I told you there was a lot.

Instead of trying to sort all these thoughts out, I usually just divert my attention to laundry or sleep or popcorn. I'm deciding now that I'm not going to do that. I'm going to pick one of those thoughts and actually think about it.

So. I pick...uh, ...oh, I guess I pick thankfulness.

I'm really not by nature a thankful person. Sure, I do appreciate words or gestures of kindness or love by others. Sadly, I don't always let the person know how much I appreciate them or thank them. Does that mean I'm rude? Does that mean I'm selfish? Probably. Something I never do is thank people just for who they are. There have been times in my personal worship time I thank God just for who He is just because He is...Himself. I don't do it enough. I don't thank my husband for just being himself. I don't appreciate him for who he is just as he is. Usually I'm annoyed by some petty little thing he does. I don't appreciate my kids for who they are. I'm not having a pity party. Rather, I think this could be called an awakening. I have great kids. I have an amazing husband. An even more than that, I have an awesome Savior and best friend. It kind of scares me to wonder if they even know how I feel about them.

And why? Why don't I do this more often? Because I'm selfish.

Forgive my selfishness, God. Help my husband and my kids forgive me for being so self-centered. Help me love the gifts you have given me in my family. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for my kids.

I think I'll plan to have some appreciation talks this week.