My blog title is very appropriately named. I do forget things. A lot. More than I really want to admit. This has been a very stressful summer for me and my family, so the forgetfulness has drastically increased. Sometimes it's funny. And sometimes it's not. Forgetting is frustrating. For me, it is. It's weird because I'm a good list-maker. But lately, I never check anything off my list!
But you know, it's all coming back to me now...
I forgot that I don't have to get everything done. I forgot that I don't have to be overwhelmed. I forgot that the valuable, important things come first. I forgot that I need God's peace. I forgot. I don't know how I forgot. But I did.
But you know what the good thing is? I remembered today.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I Can't Make Sense of Life (Ch. 5)
This is an excerpt from a book I'm reading. Just wanted to share something that was so powerful to me. This excerpt is a word the Lord is speaking to the author (Ruth Senter).
What I do in my world will never completely make sense to you. That is why you must say to yourself, three, four, five times a day: "I do not understand, but He does." I do not need to understand in order to love Him, to know that He loves me.
My answers will not always be there for you (in fact, they usually aren't). My ways will not always make sense to you (in fact, they usually won't). Sometimes My paths do go in circles, follow roundabouts, go south to get north. Sometimes My paths dead-end against an old fence-post sign that reads, "No Trespassing. Keep Out." You will think, "But the route was so clear, so straight, so well-marked!" Driving down a four-lane highway into a dead end will not make sense to you.
It did not make sense to Paul, either, as he packed his bags for what he thought would be a trip to Asia. The map was spread out before him on his nightstand. The candlelight was strong. No misreading of the red and blue lines, no doubts about the route. Asia or bust. But the border guards said no. I said no. Paul's path dead-ended against an old fence-post sign that read, "No Trespassing. Keep Out."
So what do you do when it seems as if I took you on a wrong turn to nowhere? Spend a day in a motel in seclusion rereading a map? Fast and pray for a week so that you might understand what went wrong? Form a committee to study the theology of closed doors and dead ends? Put Me under a microscope to try to figure out how I strategize missionary trips?
Oh, My child, when you come up against the dead-end signs, don't try to unscramble My plan. Come into My presence and let Me love you. Rest in My love and you will be reassured that My plan is loving, even though it makes no sense.
Then you won't be paralyzed by apparent wrong turns. You will forget Asia for the time being, get a good night's rest, wake with the sun to a new vision, and head out in a new direction. Perhaps later the trip will make sense, perhaps never. But you will keep moving, surrounded by My love, confident in My ability to keep My creation on track. You will know whom you have believed, and will be convinced that I am able to guard what you have entrusted to Me for My ultimate outcome.
What I do in my world will never completely make sense to you. That is why you must say to yourself, three, four, five times a day: "I do not understand, but He does." I do not need to understand in order to love Him, to know that He loves me.
My answers will not always be there for you (in fact, they usually aren't). My ways will not always make sense to you (in fact, they usually won't). Sometimes My paths do go in circles, follow roundabouts, go south to get north. Sometimes My paths dead-end against an old fence-post sign that reads, "No Trespassing. Keep Out." You will think, "But the route was so clear, so straight, so well-marked!" Driving down a four-lane highway into a dead end will not make sense to you.
It did not make sense to Paul, either, as he packed his bags for what he thought would be a trip to Asia. The map was spread out before him on his nightstand. The candlelight was strong. No misreading of the red and blue lines, no doubts about the route. Asia or bust. But the border guards said no. I said no. Paul's path dead-ended against an old fence-post sign that read, "No Trespassing. Keep Out."
So what do you do when it seems as if I took you on a wrong turn to nowhere? Spend a day in a motel in seclusion rereading a map? Fast and pray for a week so that you might understand what went wrong? Form a committee to study the theology of closed doors and dead ends? Put Me under a microscope to try to figure out how I strategize missionary trips?
Oh, My child, when you come up against the dead-end signs, don't try to unscramble My plan. Come into My presence and let Me love you. Rest in My love and you will be reassured that My plan is loving, even though it makes no sense.
Then you won't be paralyzed by apparent wrong turns. You will forget Asia for the time being, get a good night's rest, wake with the sun to a new vision, and head out in a new direction. Perhaps later the trip will make sense, perhaps never. But you will keep moving, surrounded by My love, confident in My ability to keep My creation on track. You will know whom you have believed, and will be convinced that I am able to guard what you have entrusted to Me for My ultimate outcome.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
home on the range
We made it home from camp! Actually, I think we've made it home from everything. For a while I was wondering when I would get to sleep in my own bed! The next three weeks will hopefully prove to be some down time before school starts. Once again the summer zipped right past us.
Camp was good this year. It was nice to get away. I didn't catch much of the services though. Sean and I lead worship this year. Well, I didn't actually lead, but I was a part of the worship team. We both played the morning and evening services. When you add that time to the rehearsal time plus the altar/decision time...we were playing/singing like 5-6 hours a day! That's a lot! We also taught a worship workshop. That was pretty cool. Stretching for us and for the kids who came. It was really a neat thing. Our days were pretty full. We didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with friends or anything. We did have a few meaningful conversations though. Camp was really different this year since we didn't go with a church. I guess it really didn't matter though. There was a team game that you could "belong to." We had other friends that we ate meals with and hung out with. But, I still missed "belonging" to a church group at camp. Kind of weird. Since we're not with a church right now, I expected questions. There were some. Not as many as I anticipated...maybe because some people were kind enough not to ask...maybe because I didn't hang around long enough to give people an opportunity. It's not anyone's fault for asking. We were with that church for 7 years and now we're not...why wouldn't someone ask? I would ask me.
I find myself still asking, "why?" I keep wanting to know why. I keep wanting a reason...a good one. It wasn't our choice to leave the church we were at. So, why can't we be there? I keep asking myself stuff like that a lot. I don't know why I ask myself. I don't have the answer! But, I do keep asking God. I was really, really moved this past week...at a church we visited and at camp. I may never have the answer I want/need. I may never know "why." Can I trust God? Will I trust God? Will I? A word was spoken at this church: "Stop praying to find answers, and start praying to find Him." I know that's what I've been doing. I keep asking God why I'm at this place in my life. How did I get here? Why am I here? On and on and on....
I can open my heart to the Lord and ask those things, but really, have I forgotten why I'm praying? Have I become so focused on finding answers that I forgot He already has all the answers? How could I forget simply who He is? What is the purpose of my prayers? What are the intentions of my heart? Have I really connected with God, or am I just venting again? Pretty challenging stuff to re-focus on Christ. Re-focus. Re-orient. Re-align. Re-. Do it again.
Camp was good this year. It was nice to get away. I didn't catch much of the services though. Sean and I lead worship this year. Well, I didn't actually lead, but I was a part of the worship team. We both played the morning and evening services. When you add that time to the rehearsal time plus the altar/decision time...we were playing/singing like 5-6 hours a day! That's a lot! We also taught a worship workshop. That was pretty cool. Stretching for us and for the kids who came. It was really a neat thing. Our days were pretty full. We didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with friends or anything. We did have a few meaningful conversations though. Camp was really different this year since we didn't go with a church. I guess it really didn't matter though. There was a team game that you could "belong to." We had other friends that we ate meals with and hung out with. But, I still missed "belonging" to a church group at camp. Kind of weird. Since we're not with a church right now, I expected questions. There were some. Not as many as I anticipated...maybe because some people were kind enough not to ask...maybe because I didn't hang around long enough to give people an opportunity. It's not anyone's fault for asking. We were with that church for 7 years and now we're not...why wouldn't someone ask? I would ask me.
I find myself still asking, "why?" I keep wanting to know why. I keep wanting a reason...a good one. It wasn't our choice to leave the church we were at. So, why can't we be there? I keep asking myself stuff like that a lot. I don't know why I ask myself. I don't have the answer! But, I do keep asking God. I was really, really moved this past week...at a church we visited and at camp. I may never have the answer I want/need. I may never know "why." Can I trust God? Will I trust God? Will I? A word was spoken at this church: "Stop praying to find answers, and start praying to find Him." I know that's what I've been doing. I keep asking God why I'm at this place in my life. How did I get here? Why am I here? On and on and on....
I can open my heart to the Lord and ask those things, but really, have I forgotten why I'm praying? Have I become so focused on finding answers that I forgot He already has all the answers? How could I forget simply who He is? What is the purpose of my prayers? What are the intentions of my heart? Have I really connected with God, or am I just venting again? Pretty challenging stuff to re-focus on Christ. Re-focus. Re-orient. Re-align. Re-. Do it again.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
family time - part 1
Zach playing on the slide at McDonald's. He loved it!
Terri playing games with the kids at Incredible Pizza.
Here we are at Grand Lake. Katie wanted to pretend to fix my hair. Only the little rat untied my swimsuit! She is such a nut!
We got to spend some time with Bo while he was home for Meghan's funeral. Katie decided Bo was her friend.
oh bruce
This whole transition time in our lives is hard. I'm ready for something new. I'm ready to move on from what we are leaving behind. I'm sad about moving on. I don't like moving on, but I have to. Okay, I'm not actually ready to move on, but I guess the thought process of moving on makes things easier to deal with. Moving on in your life suggests you are leaving something behind. It suggests maybe you haven't dealt with everything. To me, it suggests that I might have to just forget something. I don't want to forget. One of my friends has a funny saying, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!" That saying has been in my head a lot lately. It demands moving! Moving on from where I'm at. I can't stay where I'm at. I have to go somewhere else. That saying is really true for me right now in a sense. I can't stay where I'm at right now. I can't stay in this place. I have to move on. If I don't move, I'll never get anywhere.
The Lord reminded me of this passage this morning...
Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I want to be strengthened. And the only place I want to be rooted is in Christ's love. Not Tulsa. Not a particular church. Just rooted in Christ. Just rooted in His love for me. Why do I always forget God's promises? I'm so glad He takes time to remind me.
The Lord reminded me of this passage this morning...
Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I want to be strengthened. And the only place I want to be rooted is in Christ's love. Not Tulsa. Not a particular church. Just rooted in Christ. Just rooted in His love for me. Why do I always forget God's promises? I'm so glad He takes time to remind me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)