Moonlight & Roses

Tonight was my daughter's first prom. Her junior prom. We had a blast getting ready for it. Picking out the dress. Practicing the perfect makeup. Fun memories.

My daughter with her best friend, Cara, and their dates.

My daughter and her best friend, Cara

My daughter is the most gorgeous girl. Ever. Simply stunning and beautiful.

My daughter and her date, Parker

stop, drop & roll

It's been a while since I had to participate in a fire drill. High school. I think that's the last time I ever talked about or practiced what to do in case of a fire.

I always thought fire drills were strange. I mean if there's a fire, you get out of or get away from whatever is on fire! Pretty much basic common sense.

But I guess kids don't have basic common sense. I know my own children don't sometimes. Why is common sense so common? It's not! We have to learn common sense! People are not born with common sense. We are taught everything we know whether by instruction or modeling.

So, I think myself, as an adult, can at times lack basic common sense. Take yesterday for example.

I went to an elementary school to see one of my clients. I brought a new game to try with this kid. I was into the game! We were getting it all set up. Putting the container together. It was one of those games where you put plastic sticks in all the different holes...through the container. Then after you get the sticks in, you put marbles on top of the sticks. Then, you take turns pulling the sticks out. Whoever makes all the marbles fall, loses! So, we were getting this game set up. I was trying to put the sticks in very strategic places so I could pull them out later and not make any marbles fall. Call it cheating if you want. I was just using basic common sense.

I jumped off my seat when the fire alarm started blaring loudly. Because of state testing this week, my client and I were in the cafeteria. I had this game spread out all over the table. I had also brought art supplies...markers, colored pencils, crayons, drawing paper, construction paper, chalks, oil pastels, etc. The stuff was everywhere.

The kid did not seemed phased at all about the fire alarm going off. So, we just kept messing with our game. Until an official, school-looking authority type lady came walking through the cafeteria. I was making eye contact with her as if she could read my mind. One of those women intuition type looks.

You know, if you don't have basic common sense, you might not have basic woman intutition either. If you're a woman.

So, as we awkwardly look at each other, I say, "So, do we need to go somewhere?" Then I realize that was a dumb question, and I hope she doesn't yell back, "Yeah, you can go to hell!" Sometimes these school ladies are mean. Especially if they have gray hair. And she did. And glasses.

She didn't yell anything at all. So, maybe some gray-haired, bespectacled school ladies are nice. It's a theory. She responded, "Yes, you need to go outside." But I still just sat there. I looked at my stuff. I was trying to decide how much it would cost to replace all my materials if, indeed, the school really was on fire.

So, I turn back to the school lady and ask, "Do I just leave my stuff here? Will I be able to come back and get it?" She smiles a polite smile and answers, "Yes, you can come back for it." Maybe I wouldn't have felt so dumb had she explained this was only a fire DRILL!

So, then I realize that I have a kid with me. So, I ask her yet another question, "Do I need to find this kid's teacher?" She says, "Yes, find the teacher when you go outside and let the teacher know the student is ok."

So, the kid and I go outside. We start looking for the teacher. Of course, using basic common sense, I ask the kid, "What does your teacher look like? Do you remember what she was wearing today?" He says.........."no." Nice. Good one, kid. How long do you look at this woman all day, 5 days a week? Seriously? I point out some teachers asking if that is this kid's teacher. I point out about 4. To EACH ONE, he initially says, "Yeah, that's her!" So, we begin walking towards the teacher. As we get closer, he says, "Oh, no, that's not her."

Kid, I'm about to take you over to the sand pit and fill your underwear with sand.

As I'm trying to figure out what to do next, I see more classes filing out of the school. So, we start looking for other teachers. I'm trying to figure out how long this is going to last. My game is still inside!

Then the principal calls out on the intercom, "Ok, students, good job! Congrats on getting out so quickly! You may no re-enter the building." Like I said, there were still students coming out of the building!

We never found my client's teacher. But at least I got all my supplies out of the cafeteria.

And I guess more importantly, I now know what to do in a school fire drill. It was a good day.

spinning round

Where do I even begin? God answers prayers in funny ways. Sometimes He even answers prayers we forget we prayed. Maybe even He sometimes does things that cause us to pray certain prayers. I don't know what happened this past week, but my mind is spinning.

There is a housing project out in West Tulsa that I go to visit clients. I have two families that live there. Both households have single women with children. One woman, Sarah*, has not stopped talking about God since I met her back in October. In my position, I'm not allowed to initiate conversation about God. I can talk freely when a client initiates the subject though. Well, I have watched Sarah sit and cry and mope around her house. Her 18 year old son moved out and across the street to live with her best friend, Jane*. About a month ago, Sarah made the decision to put her kids in a children's home. There is just so much to these stories.

But slowly I have been able to gain the trust of both these women. Last week, Sarah talked about wanting to go to church. I invited her to come with me. A few days later, Jane also said she would like to go to church. I invited her as well. Both women and their children came to church on Easter Sunday. They loved the service. Their kids loved it. Well, not all their kids came.

I saw both women today. I've been praying God would guide me in knowing what to do with these women. It's all happening so fast!! I am their counselor. Them coming to church has changed the dynamic of our relationship. I'm ok with that. I just don't know where to go from here. Today, Jane asked me to help her find a Bible study. Well, I'm not going to help her find one. I'm going to lead it!

She's going to talk to a couple of her neighbors, and we are planning on starting a Bible study next week in her home. Just two weeks ago, I was telling Sean that I wanted to do something like this. And in a matter of a few minutes, it happened.

This is all so crazy! God is sooo faithful. I can't believe He would choose to use me and allow me to be a part of all this! It just blows my mind! I never thought I would have the courage to do something like this.

So. I can't wait to see where this wild ride takes me next. But I'll be sure to keep you posted. :)

oh my

I took this picture a few weeks ago. It was actually during Holly's first soccer game. I love the "trouble" you can see brewing in the background. I love how the darkness of the sky illuminates the tree. Amazing.

springtime is here. flowers everywhere.

It's a new season. At least, I think it is. There's still snow on the ground. This may be a boring entry. But. This is my blog, and if you are reading it, it's not my fault.

We just returned yesterday from a trip to visit my sister. Got to snow ski also. Got to play with my niece and nephew. Got to see my niece's pre-school. Got to see my sister literally fly down a hill of snow. Memorable times.

I had a talk with my supervisor at work today. Talked about my clients and trying to catch up on all that happened in the short time I was gone. Most of these conversations lead to deeper thinking. Why do people do what they do? What motivates people to function the way they do? One woman in particular is suspected to have been abused by her father. Her sister has already admitted it. This woman won't. For fear her father will cut off payment and supply of a car and rent and other bill payments. Is there a fear of working? The thought that wouldn't leave me was why this woman would go to great lengths to "protect" her dad. Why would the dad continue to put forth so much money? Now that the woman is grown, why keep the family secret? To protect a reputation? Lots of other questions come. But no answers. Seems like a lot of work to take care of a grown woman and her 4 kids. All for the sake of a "secret." I wonder what that energy could also be used for. A positive, healthy relationship with his daughter. Meaningful moments with his grandkids?

Work sure makes me think a lot. Those thoughts sure push me to healthy change in my own life. That change helps me become more of who God wants me to be.

what a day

My job continues to challenge me. I've been working with a 14 year old girl who doesn't really have any friends. She is verbally abusive to her mother and grandmother. She has been sexually assaulted. She doesn't want to go to school. I've been working with a single mother in her 30's with 4 kids. She's bi-polor and depressed. She won't admit it. She won't take her meds consistently. What a history she has.

Or, how about today. I went to work with a single mother and her teenage daughter. The 17 year old daughter is pregnant. She's not too far along and is dealing with all day sickness or something. She can't keep any food down. The mom is obese. They are trying hard to make it in society, but they struggle. The mom loves holidays and is always trying to decorate or dress according to the upcoming holiday. So, today, I took some cookie dough and icing and candy to make a cookie cake. She took me in her kitchen to make the stuff. I opened a drawer to get a fork to stir up the ingredients. Roaches scattered all over the drawer. The butter was warm and melting because the fridge had been left open for who knows how long. When I opened the egg carton to get an egg out, there was onion skin and several egg shells in the carton...all looking like roaches had been in there. She had no dish towels, pot holders or paper towels, so I wadded up toilet paper to take the hot pan out of the stove. She left the kitchen for a minute, so while she wasn't looking, I quickly washed the utensils and my hands with her dish soap. Had to dry my hands with the toilet paper. Then after I did, I wondered why toilet paper was in the kitchen. At one point she went to the restroom, and I had to return some items to the kitchen. She left the bathroom door open. That was awkward for me to see that. This was all before her daughter came home from her GED classes. The daughter came home sick and not feeling well. She said she had thrown up several times at school. Poor girl. Well, she sat down in a chair to wait and rest. The mom was changing clothes. I went out to my car to move things around...I was getting ready to take them both to the ER. The mom had several absess teeth, and the daughter was tired of throwing up. Anyway. I walk back in the front door, and the daughter was leaning over and throwing up right in the floor. Didn't bother to try and get to the sink or a trash bag or whatever. Just threw up in the floor. So. I start to hyperventilate. I mean, my first thought was, "Well, glad they don't have carpet." My second thought was, "They can walk to the ER because I am going to vomit myself." I tried to swallow and regain my composure. I said, "Um, are you ok?" I said this standing from the doorway...still holding onto the doorknob. The mom then walks into the room and sees the vomit on the floor, steps over it, and tells her daughter to get her jacket on. I start to hyperventilate again...and think. I could outrun them easily. I could make it to my truck and drive off and they would never catch me. Part of me wished I had to vomit. I would have walked right over to the spot where the daughter threw up and add my own vile nasty. Then I would just look at them and wait for their reaction. Ok, so none of that happened. The mom says, "Well, now what are we going to clean that up on the floor with?" The daughter leaves the room and comes back with a t-shirt. My heart rate starts to rise. The daughter lays the shirt over the vomit. I didn't panic. I didn't get sick. My heart rate slows to almost normal. I make a mental note of what color the shirt is. Gray. After that, the daughter puts her coat on and we leave. Just like that.

I met a new client today. He is 5. He just moved to Oklahoma to live with his dad, whom he has never met, just a few months ago. The dad has mental issues, and I think the son does as well. So, the therapist I went with called the boy by a certain name when we arrived. After a few minutes, I couldn't remember what she had called him exactly. So, I asked the boy his name. He told me something different. That was odd. The grandma was all snuggled up on the couch with her blanket and her remote. She pulls out a joint. Looks like marijuana. I panicked and looked at the therapist thinking, "Holy moly! We've got a live one!" After the first few seconds of panic, I kind of got excited. I mean this might be my first chance to actually call the cops! But Grandma clarified that it was really just a cigarette. I was still looking for some excitement, so as she smoked, I kept inhaling deeply to try and see if it was really a cigarette or weed. Then I realized that wasn't really good. I wonder how much second-hand smoke I inhaled today? Crap. It really was just a cigarette. People will save the butts of their cigarettes. Unroll them and save all the tobacco. They repack it and roll it again in new paper. I am intrigued by the ingenuity of this procedure. I mean it really is remarkable. Very cost effective. I started to compliment the woman on her efforts for "going green." Everyone has to do their part.

While the therapist was talking with the grandma and father, I brought some pla-doh for the 5 year old. Another little girl was there. So, we played with pla-doh. The kids started to mix several colors, and I explained that we don't do that. We can't mix colors! We must pick up all pla-doh crumbs. But I don't think the kids understood. I went into the house with 10 different colors of pla-doh. I came out with 4. I'm not sure that went well. I don't know why the kids kept staring at me as I would pick up any pla-doh they weren't using and put it immediately back into a container. I am a pla-doh nazi. I even took the white pla-doh out of the little girl's hands. I mean, she wasn't actually using it right at that moment. I knew she was about to mix it with the purple. I was just trying to save the white. It did not want to be mixed with purple. Blue maybe. But not purple. The girl took it back out of the container and mixed it with the green. I pretended to eat about a dozen pla-doh white/green/orange/purple colored eggs. I was full by the time we left the house. Next time I will only take back the colors that they already mixed.

So. Another day is done. I did my best.

Just testing things out from my phone. Trying to see if I can really blog from my phone. What technology!