doh!

Ever have one of those moments where you are caught off guard? I'm not talking about someone saying something funny and you shoot milk out of your nose. I'm talking about one of those moments where your whole life's purpose is questioned and you feel about a foot tall. Maybe you haven't.

But I did. It really wasn't so bad. But, I was caught completely off guard by one of my clients.

Jane* (names have been changed) is teenage client I see once a week. I've been seeing her for a few months. Wednesday was my last session with her. We talked about some closure type things, and I encouraged her with things we had worked on. I decided our last session called for ice cream. Any chance I get to have ice cream or Sonic happy hour...you know I take it!

As Jane and I got in my car, she noticed my work badge hanging from my rearview mirror. She grabbed it and read out loud, "Tonya Moore...Counselor. You used to be a counselor? When did you do that?"

Pause.

I have been "counseling" Jane for the past 5 months. We talk about issues. We develop skills for her to use.

I stopped breathing when Jane asked me that. I was caught in between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry.

Those types of moments really make you do some serious self-examination. Have I really helped Jane? Have I failed? Did I model poor boundaries to where Jane didn't realize we were doing counseling? What did Jane think I was doing with her every Monday? Why did Jane think I was coming to visit her?

After a mini-meltdown, I started breathing again.

Unpause.

I said to Jane, "Well, I'm still a counselor. Isn't that a crazy picture?!" I had to divert the conversation so I wasn't tempted to cry again!

I still haven't come up with any answers. But maybe my style, technique and method of in-home counseling is just what I want it to be. Disguisable yet challenging and effective. Getting to know my clients and earning their trust to challenge them to change and face fears...all under the disguise of scrapbooking, playing cards, taking walks, painting, etc.

Yep. At the end of a long day, that's what I like to tell myself. I'm doing my job so effectively that my clients can't tell I've "counseled" them.

Don't judge my boundaries. Or my self-confidence.

I'm just using my gifts. And I'm in awe of how God is working through me.

total recall

well…or something like it. but most likely not. so much has happened in the last couple of months, I don’t even know where to begin. but I will say that I am typing on my new laptop. oh yeah!

I've been giving advice to my daughter lately. Pretty good advice, I'd say. The only thing is that I really need to listen to it myself. Boo.

These words came out of mouth today to her: "Sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and accept help." Ouch.

Soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I was talking to myself. Geez. Of course, I've been knowing that for several months. I just didn't want to do it. People tell me I'm stubborn. Um. No, I'm not. Well. Maybe a little.

She had a bad day. I just pulled her in my lap...even 19 year olds need cuddled by their mommas...and held her. Kinda made me wish someone would do that for me! I've been having a bad few months. Sometimes my bad days are no one's fault. Sometimes my bad days are a result of my own neglect to change my attitude...because of choices I made the day before...and other reasons.

But I think it's time I swallowed my pride and accepted help. I'm glad my daughter taught me something today. Or maybe I just wasn't as stubborn today.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

reflections

Today Sean and I have been married 7 years. Sure goes by fast. And yet...I don't know how we made it this far. Ha! Because of the snow apocalypse coming, we celebrated by making a trip to Wal-Marts for candles and bottled water and such necessities. We did stop at Starbucks on the way home for a little anniversary coffee.

We ended the night by playing some Mortal Kombat on the xbox. Good times. As I was losing interest in the game (because I was losing), we heard the sleet start! Just a few minutes ago. We love the sound of rain hitting our roof. I love listening to the thunder. Just wish it wasn't ice/sleet.

And, I'm really not a fan of snow. I like snow in the mountains. Not in Tulsa. It snowed about this time last year. Sean and I went sledding with the kids last year. Maybe we'll get to again this year.

So. What have I learned in 7 years of marriage...with 3 teenagers?
1. Be thankful always
2. Be quick to forgive
3. Always fall asleep first. Because the snoring might keep you up.

I'm sure I've learned more than that. I'll have to compile a more conclusive list later. For now, I better get off here and get to bed before Sean.

every day is a winding road

It's been an interesting few weeks. Ok. It's been an interesting few months. I've been having sleep issues and/or insomnia for about the last 10 months. My rest is starting to improve. At least I can see some improvement in my sleep patterns within the last few months. That's a good thing! I think.

Work continues to challenge, teach, and amaze me. I love my job. I love getting paid to talk with people, brainstorm for solutions to problems, brainstorm for activities to help families, and most of all...play! My dad teases me about my job. I get paid to take kids to the movies. I get paid to play checkers. I mostly lose at checkers, so I try not to play that too much. I've recently taken on 4 new clients, all teenage girls, at a children's home in the area. I love the environment and program for these girls. I'm excited to be a part of these girls' lives.

I'm a different person than I was when I started this job. The jury is still out on whether I've changed for good or bad! Yikes! I'm defnitely more relaxed. I've become a lot more open-minded. And maybe a little more crazy!

I want to start a Wacky Wednesday post. Each Wednesday I'll post my favorite work story of the week. Oh boy!

My sister and her family left yesterday after visiting for a week. I always hate saying goodbye! I have the sweetest niece and nephew. Nate and Terri are lots of fun to be with. We played and played and played cards. Wow! My niece is such a little sweetie. We were saying goodbye and hugging everyone yesterday. My mom started crying. Katie, my niece, saw my mom's tears. I was already holding Katie. She said, "I want Grama to hold me." So, I told mom. Mom took her and hugged her. Katie just laid her head on mom's shoulder and patted her back. It was the sweetest thing ever. My little 4-year old niece comforting her grandma. Kaitlyn is amazing. She is so smart. Sometimes too smart for her own good! She is so much fun to play with. She is always making me laugh. She wants to be a mom when she grows up...and be just like Terri. What an awesome compliment to Terri, my sister! Terri is an awesome mom! Man. I sure miss them!

Christmas - Part 1

My neice, Maegen, and me. She is hilarious!

The Moore fam on Christmas Day

The crazy siblings!

Nerts anyone?? (Take note of the Tennessee Volunteer playing cards...that were not mine, but I got to play with them!)

Epictetus

So, I'm reading this book for work right now, The Epictetus Club. It's pretty interesting. I can think of several spiritual analogies within the reading. A coworker and I are leading a group for an alternative school here in Tulsa. The book is very thought-provoking. The discussions that we've had with the group of kids is amazing.

Today, in chapter 5, we discussed how to determine what is within our control and what is not and how to tell the difference. How do we react or respond to the things we can't control. I believe there is a difference in reacting and responding to things that aren't within our control. Our attitudes and choices can make our lives pleasant and happy or crap.

It was interesting to listen to a different generation discuss these thoughts. These 17 & 18 year old kids...and granted I know they are in alternative school for a reason...all have the mentality and perspective that if someone does something they don't like then they have no choice but to retaliate. Some of that comes from their age...some from the environment they've been raised in...some from their culture. I get that. But it is so disturbing to me that they see no other options but verbal and physical harm.

The group of kids were really challenged to think today. As I was also. I even offered to the group that I don't always choose to respond to my own family. Sometimes I just react. That's not good. Today's discussion really challenged me more to stop and think. I didn't realize until recently how impulsive I can be.

I teach my clients to "Stop and Think!" I even made up a catchy song for the kids I see so they would remember! Now I'm learning from my own lessons. Life works like that, eh? It does.

The Epictetus Club is a easy, good read. True story. Check it out.